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Sometimes, I don't need to be the good guy.

Sometimes, I believe that candy-coating words serves little purpose.

Sometimes, I believe real friendship means telling the truth, despite not saying what they want to hear.

Sometimes, I'm a bad guy because of all that. I guess that's life.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 3rd, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
I think that, with friends, it often takes awhile to see the meaning of what is said--to step back from a reaction to something we might not want to hear and to just HEAR it for what it is, rather than what we think is being said... I think time sorts out everything.
Jun. 3rd, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
sometimes, you're the one they call at 3 am when everything you told them would go wrong ... does
Jun. 3rd, 2005 05:14 pm (UTC)
And, if this happens, it is your responsibility to try really hard not to say "I told you so."
Jun. 3rd, 2005 05:17 pm (UTC)

coz they called *you* - it's all the acknowledgement you need
Jun. 3rd, 2005 03:46 pm (UTC)
Ah, how your words resonate with me, so deep inside. I have been there myself.

I have learned though that I am not a bad guy, and neither are you.

You are being true to yourself in your actions.

And that my dear, makes you an honest and true guy, not a bad one at all.
Jun. 3rd, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC)
You have a point with this, as I have noticed that a few friends who haven't followed my advice have trundled into circumstances that they are now stuck with. I think is is ironic that they are disappointed when they get a refresher on the truth when they wanted compassion, but more than a few friends have said that they can only handle me in small doses as i can bring a little too much reality to bear for them to deal with.
Jun. 3rd, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)
Neither you nor most of your friends (as I am aware of) are the "fluffy, tip-toe around, walk on eggshells, passive/aggressive types."

None of us gets to be the good guy all the time, it's a tough skill to learn to say no, to learn to give bad news, to learn how to tell someone something they don't really want to hear. But you do it, and move on.

I find it hard to believe this is news to you, or maybe this was just a harder time than before and challenged you more.
Jun. 3rd, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC)
having recently been the recipient of some "tough love" from a (vanilla) dear friend....whether a person Wants to hear it or not.. a good friend will tell them the truth...and in the long run, that is far, far more valuable than saying what they want to hear.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 3rd, 2005 05:56 pm (UTC)
you've been sugarcoating your opinion all these years? Guess I didn't notice.

I agree though, I am a firm believer in honesty and the truth, especially with friends. I have lost friendships because of it, but I can live with that better than the guilt of having not tried all I could to help a friend see a situation.

- K
Jun. 3rd, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
Friends tell each other the truth. That's it. If I have lettuce in my teeth, I want you to tell me, and if you think I'm making a major life mistake, I want to hear it. I may end up picking my teeth in front of you or getting mad at you for telling me something I didn't want to hear... but all of that is better than having a friend who believes one thing and says another.

It's the harder road sometimes, but in the end, it builds the strongest of friendships.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 3rd, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC)
Sometimes, I don't need to be the good guy.

Isn't this why we all love you?

Jun. 4th, 2005 12:05 am (UTC)
'Tough love' sucks...but it is often necessary, in friendships.

Here's to you for being the sort of friend who's strong enough to give your friends the 'truth' -even when it hurts.
Jun. 6th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
I prefer the friend who'll tell me straight up that I'm being an ass. So long as they accept my being cranky when I hear what I don't want to hear.

I, like most people, like to be around people who agree with me. It makes life easy. But I also like to be around people who will challenge me to grow. Strong friendships are hard and take work.

Blunt and occasionally painful honesty give you points in favor of being a good guy.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )