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Exercise in self-control

You know something, it's really hard to hold back on accustomed practices after they become habit. Every morning, after I get dressed and grab my glass of orange juice, I sit by the computer, light my cigarette, and thumb through the day's newspaper while I sign on to AOL. And every morning, Imp is there, and we say good morning. She was there this morning... and it was all I could do not to say hello.

When I get to work, there is always a voice mail and an e-mail waiting for me, saying hello again. I was dissapointed not to find them this morning.

Finally, throughout the day, we call each other. We e-mail each other, back and forth. Today, its all I can do not to pick up the phone.
Damn this is hard.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
ciani
Feb. 23rd, 2001 09:33 am (UTC)
*hugs you tight* If you need to just talk about it, I'm here.
I've gone through similar things with a couple people. it's definitely hard, but the thing is, if you want to say hi, maybe you should. Unless you think saying hi will be more hurtful to you in the long run. Or maybe the whole thing is just too fresh.. too much pain right now. *gives you lots of hugs*

C
devina
Feb. 23rd, 2001 09:35 am (UTC)
Granted, I don't know either of you, or your natures/habits, or how the breakup came about. So if I'm misunderstanding, I apologize.

But I don't see the harm in saying hello if you're still friendly. Which isn't to say I think you should stay in contact with her all day - that's trouble after any breakup. But the occasional "Hi" might not be bad.

Of course, if any communication with her at all is going to keep you from healing, it's probably best to resist the temptation altogether for a while. That worked for me after a rough break up - it's always easier to be a stranger than a friend when heavy emotions are involved.

Anyhow, I'm done psychobabbling. Hope it helps.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )