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Feeling older than I am.

Ya know... the first two to three times this back flair up happened, I took it in stride. OK, my back went out, just give it time, yeah it sucks, but then I'll be better.

This time I am taking it much worse.

I just feel so helpless. I haven't been at the computer much because it hurts when trying to stand up from the chair. If something is on the floor that I want or need, I have to wait for someone to pick it up for me. Other than the hourly walks around the small apartment, I am basically lying down on the bed, reading, bored out of my mind, helpless to do anything else.

This really fucking sucks. And I can't allow this to happen again.

I am guaranteeing here, in public, that once I am mobile again, I am going to see professionals about this. Either a chiropractor or a back doctor. Someone along those lines who can really look into what is wrong, and maybe prevent this from happening again.

I think I am also very seriously going to consider an exercise routine to strengthen my back. But, I will do that only after I see a pro... I don't want to fuck up anything in sheer ignorance.

Other than, bored bored bored BORED!!!! And as helpless as they come.

Anyone want to come over and provide oral sex so that I can at least smile a bit? That was a joke... er... mostly. I think.

Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
nex0s
Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking about investigating that new yoga place up on 109th. They teach classes of 2 and 3 people at a time. If it's reasonable, that might be super worthwhile as yoga & pilates - espeically in such a small setting - are really good ways to stregnthen your back. Plus, we could go to together which is helpful for kicking both our asses and making sure we go :) And we'd get to hang out, which is always a goodness.

Talk to your doctor. I'm investigating anyway, so if you like, I can give you the info when I get it.

N.
nex0s
Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
I just investigated it and...um... WAY too rich for my blood. :(

Still, think about yoga or pilates when you start feeling better. Both are all about core stregnth and the healing of injury and the prevention of injury.

N.
rosefox
Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
I can recommend an excellent personal trainer who was very helpful with my hip and back issues.

Also, from my work with pain doctors, I can tell you that getting a chronic back problem diagnosed properly is an extremely time-consuming process. On the bright side, a substantial number of back injuries are best handled simply by treating the pain and keeping up with normal activity as much as possible. Those hourly walks and sessions with the TENS unit are probably the best things you can do for yourself.

I hope you feel better soon.
fire_fiend
Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:54 pm (UTC)
Do you know what's wrong with your back?
I spent lots and lots of money on a chiropractor – which generally didn’t make me feel any better (though one of them did teach me some good exercises to get things loosened up a bit when it wasn’t too bad) until I finally got a CAT scan which showed I had a herniated disc – and chiropractic can’t do anything for that…
None of the chiropractors I went to, nor my family doctor ever suggested I get a scan… it was finally the emergency room that did it.
Just a thought – if you don’t know the reason why you’re in pain, it might be a good idea to find out before wasting money on something that wont be of much help anyways.
nipper_dawg
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
See i had the opposite expierience, maybe because it was from a car accident. i had a PY and two chiros, after 6 weeks they all recomended scans, i got one, and found a badly herniated disc. When a chiro says you ned surgery, you know its bad.

nipper
fire_fiend
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
Thats great that you had a better experience (even if it's with something awful).
I've been told that basically surgery is the only way of "fixing" the problem (other than lots of pain killers and things like that when I have a flare up) but unfortunately because of my weight surgery itself is problematic... So... not a current option. (Luckily I'm at the point of only having one flare up every year or two, so I'm considering it 'manageable' at this point....)(though during the next flare up I might think differently!!! LOL)
nipper_dawg
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC)
The sad thing i discovered from my lawyer, is that in reality there is only a 40% succes rate, 50% with some relief, and 10% total failure. i've been through the latter two, praying some day for the first.
The weight thing is a catch 22. You dont so things cause you hurt, you gain weight, loose weight by exercise, but you cant.
fire_fiend
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
Yep.. I've had that exact problem with exercise... there's so many things I just cant do for any length of time... Walking works (and helps loosen things up a bit too, when i can GET walking) but it doesn't really burn off much.. Swimming is another really good one because it's low impact - unfortunatly my twice-a-week swimming schedual was interupted by a DIFFERENT health issue, and I can't go in the pool anymore (for a while). I didn't know that the success rate was so low... I didn't even really ask, since it wasn't going to be a "lets do this soon" thing anyways.
nipper_dawg
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
i was a horror story, first fusion failed in 3 weeks. i cant sue because of those stats. The Dr said a 90% success rate. The lawyer told me he meant the mechanics of the surgery, not the pain itself.
i will say though its a hell of a lot better then it was. i just have a dmamged nerve or three that we are hoping nature heals. i used to be bale to walk all day, then it wnet down to three blocks, now its a 1/2 mile, max 1 mile. in the fall ill get back to the gym to see what i can help move along.
divalano
Aug. 2nd, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
S & I have an excellent chiro. He's made me mobile again when I was in about the same condition you're in now. It is true there's things a chiro can't do. Some kinds of back problems are better addressed w chiropractice, some kinds are only resolved with surgerically (which is its own can of worms.) The guy I use will do Xrays & has been very honest about what he can & can't treat. Anyway, drop me a line if you want the referral. Oh, and he takes most major insurance, too.
kinkmogul
Aug. 2nd, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
I confess I did go online to research the Emergency Oral Sex Airfares. Not many people know about it. You have to call Delta or US Airways directly and ask for it by name.
(Deleted comment)
julian_wolf
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you! It is good to be wary of chiropracty when you don't know what is wrong. That submissive_girl is a smart one.

Also, *poke* *poke* when you're well enough we really need to talk! Ticket prices are going up.
nipper_dawg
Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:35 pm (UTC)
i can recomend a good physiologist on 16th and 5th who is really good. They are one stop shopping and dont sugarcoat anything. i liked them alot, but they didnt do long term care.
after the two surgeries i just decided no more vets and to get on with life, and see what nature does.
kahoki
Aug. 3rd, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)
My chiropractor diagnosed that a displaced vertibra between my shoulder blades and a bone spur in my neck had my back muscles playing tug of war with each other. After a series of weekly adjustments and theraputic massage, everything was back in place, but with the caveat that I would have to do more stretching and back exercises to train the muscles and keep them from falling back into their same position.

It took me a couple of trips back to him for it to settle in that I really needed to stay on top of things, so hopefully your situation has a similar course of action to set it right.
maymaym
Aug. 3rd, 2007 01:11 am (UTC)
My father, who still has shrapnel in his lower back from the Yom Kippur war in Israel, has had debilitating back pain ever since he was in his mid-20's and is now in his late 50's. He often went weeks at a time without being able to leave his bed. He's tried just about everything to get rid of it, including spending loads of money on chiropractors and very nearly considered surgery. Then, he read this book by Dr. John E. Sarno and has since had no recurring back pain problems for years.

Having no back pain in my life, I was so skeptical about his claims that I read the book myself. To my complete surprise, I found that my migraines, which were at the time exceptionally painful and frequent, suddenly became manageable and eventually disappeared altogether. Since reading this book, I haven't had a migraine as bad as I remember again.

Needless to say, I would highly, highly recommend this book to you. It is not purely a woo-woo self-help book. In fact, most of the book talks about the anatomy of the back and the brain. But don't take my word for it. Check out the amazon reviews.

Also, I hope you feel better soon.
adorable_man
Aug. 3rd, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
I also have this book and I think it's great. A great explanation of chronic pain.
catelynn
Aug. 3rd, 2007 02:35 am (UTC)
DR.VITTORIA REPETTO has a good reputation

http://www.meta-ehealth.com/site/office/index.jsp
domn8dlady
Aug. 3rd, 2007 04:52 am (UTC)
I am so sorry you're in miserable pain.

Last year right before Thunder, I had the same thing happen to me. I was miserable! Lolita and I had to change our plans while she was here. I went to my chiropractor and he fixed me up, but it took a good week for me to be completely pain free. He also did some acupuncture and that helped immensely.

I hope you get to feeling better soon.
lightniing
Aug. 3rd, 2007 11:03 am (UTC)
We -DO- have these nice blue inversion-boots, and a horizontal pole hanging near the 14-foot ceiling... or if you prefer motorized winch. Come on over and we'll string you upsidedown naked, former for telescoping and relaxing your back, the latter for the amusement of your hosts. Wine, photos of you for your friends... a good time all around. : )

[Cheers, get better very soon. I can only recommend ibuprophen, it's what I use to relax my back when it goes funky. Three days at 1000mg every 6 hours seems to agree with my back.]
adorable_man
Aug. 3rd, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
my experience and opinions about back pain
I am sorry to hear you have back pain, it's terrible.

One of the things that helped for me is Aleve. I know it sounds silly, but after four years of debilitating back pain and stiffness, I happened to try Aleve and after three days of taking it, my pain and stiffness decreased by about 70%. Two in the morning with some food and two before bed.

I could barely move every single morning when I woke up.. and this was when I was in my mid-thirties. I could barely roll over. Sitting up felt like knives sticking into my ass. I felt like I was 80. Every day, for a very long time. It began with my back going out and it just became chronic.

I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis about 2 years ago... just deterioration of the large joins in the back, hips and knees, which causes chronic pain and inflammation. YES working out helps a ton.. because the stronger you are and the more you move, the less pain you'll have. Also drink water and stay away from cigarettes and alcohol. Yes, for me, alleviating back pain meant big lifestyle chnages that I'm still working on. As you age, back pain is a definite wake up call.

And the opinion part: I think back pain is caused by emotional pain. Disks herniate .. joints wear out... it's just what happens to our spines, yet some people have no pain with this and some people have debilitating pain. Surgery can help, but in general it makes it worse.

It's the most common somatic disorder we have these days... so what do you do?

Acknowledge it might be based in emotional pain: fear, anger, pressure, too much to do, too little help, too much on your shoulders. Just plain old grief, anxiety, pressure can cause huge back pain. Your body is just saying enough! I can't move. Stop everything, I'm not going to allow you to continue. So I say acknowledge that. It's not a magical cure, it takes time to reverse this, but it's a step into healing.

Then get help.. whatever works, do it. If acupuncture helps - do it. If massage helps, do it. If pain meds help - do that. Try everything until you find what works and then do it. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters that you seek out your cure with the intent of healing and eliminating pain. It will take some time, but this process alone - trying to heal yourself is what works.

Do whatever it takes to heal your body with healthy lifestyle changes, stretching, exercise, etc. You can't eliminate the somatic expression of emotions, but over enough time, you can greatly lessen the pain by listening to yourself, taking good care of yourself, and treating your body very, very well.

Good luck, I know just how awful it feels and I am sending you good vibes.
wakarimashta
Aug. 3rd, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
Look into acupuncture. Worked REALLY well for my joint issues. Sitting will more than likely be the LAST thing you can do as you heal up, puts an INORDINATE amount of pressure on your spine.

Get a Kneeling chair..... backless, I know you've seen them...... http://www.homedecorators.com/pop.php?img=large%2Fl3430020930.jpg&type=large&parentId=3430020

Western Doctors usually head straight for " Let's Operate"; where in MY experience, Eastern Doctors do not.

Sorry to hear you're laid up. Sending you MUCH love
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )