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A mini-rant.

Here is a little rant about perception. About how others perceive us, and create clues for behavior where there actually are none.

Or... maybe it is a rant about identity. Self-identity versus perceived. Cultural norms vs. preferred treatment?

Jeez, I dunno. There are a whole lot of things I can attach to this little mini-rant.

But with all the pomp extracted, it all comes down to this - I wish people would spell my name right.

Boymeat. One word. Capital B.

Just because there is "Boy" in the name, doesn't make me submissive. And even if I did make that my primary identity,  I do not  subscribe to your system of "all submissive people must have their names printing in lower-case letters." Your assumption on that front offends me.

My identity is my identity. Stop trying to adopt it to your own comfort levels. Capital B. One word.

Thank you.


( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
Well crap!
And I'm the president!
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
...And FOUNDING member lol !
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
Okay, boy MEAT, you are to report immediately to my room. The restraints are already arranged on the bed. You'll know what to do with them.

(By which, I mean you'll restrain me so as to address my being a smart-ass... *g*)
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:47 pm (UTC)

Now, that is a great way to ask for a scene. Of course, I'd have to bring along my cane case...
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
My back's still off limits from this year's MRSA drama. And my ass, well, all I can say is you better break me if you start there. Bastinado is definitely still on the table for that time when we have the opportunity and you're tired of my hemming and hawing. (ie, "Are you doing anything? No? Come with me.")

Speaking of, you going to be in Chicago in 2 weeks?
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
And what about thighs? And calves? And arms? And pecs?

No Chicago for me.
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:59 pm (UTC)
Well, pretty much anything below the ass is okay. The ass is "okay" too, for some values of okay. That would be the "you have to take me to breaking", or you'll have a rabid dog on your hands when I'm released.

Never really done anything beyond thuddy punching on chest... though I did have nasty bruising on my biceps from a rubber rod post-inferno.
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)
Define breaking.

Just as aside, this is the most negotiation I have done in years.
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
Really, beyond the "don't hit the back", this is just chat... that's the only hard limit. I know you've got skillz. :)

And by breaking? Well, sobbing, heaving mass of flesh whose ability and drive to reject, resist or otherwise cope with the pain has been stripped away, leaving a bare emotional nerve that's rather malleable.
(no subject) - boymeat - Oct. 30th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
Does this mean I can no longer call you Mr. Meat? :)
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:47 pm (UTC)
Friends know what special privileges they have. ;-)
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)
Best answer to all such questions, ever.

::steals it, and runs away::
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
Fer'instance, some friends get to abbreviate Boymeat to MF. :-P
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:47 pm (UTC)
But livejournal names arent capitalized! Oh No!

Oct. 30th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Huh?
That's why we have to take our battle to the MAN. To the MAN, people!!!

Fight the MAN!!!!
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Huh?
Isn't that rather genderist? I mean, assuming that only men can be oppressive assholish dictators. :)

(don't mind me, I'm in a particularly commenty mood today)
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
Uh oh. I'm sure I'm guilty of this. Not because I'm into the whole "change English grammar to facilitate GOR bullshit" but because I tend to type LJ names lowercase. My apologies...
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:57 pm (UTC)
No, you weren't the intended target for this post.
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:57 pm (UTC)
Elegant. One word. Capital E.

Just because I am owned property does not mean my name is spelled with a lowercase 'e'.

Just because there is a capital letter does not make me a Grand Poohbah/Top/Master/Dominant/LordAlmighty.

Proper punctuation and grammar trumps internet usage in Master Archer's household.
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
Well I AM the grand POOHBAH and mastranatrix of the frickin universe and I hereby demand my name to henceforth be spelled fEyRiePRIncesS...MWA HAHA
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC)
Did you know you're also the only person who lives in The Castle beyond the goblin city? Someone needs to tell Jareth! :)
Oct. 30th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
Aw, I dunno. I've started to think that people who come over all "I'm a big scary dom and yer gonna do what I tell ya," on the internet, without learning anything about me, as if I'm gonna drop everything and comply with a complete stranger's attitude about my life (which, er, I've been living longer than they have, thus I know it way better than they do), are performing a valuable service.

They're sticking a big ol "I'm a dork" sticky on their foreheads so I can avoid 'em.

Then again, I'm a big huge guy who seems to intimidate people, so I almost never get this kind of dumbshit stuff in the first place. ;-)

Great meeting you last weekend, BTW.
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)
You don't intimidate *me*.... You do *other things* to me...
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)
If I tried to be intimidating I think people would giggle. But I just try to be me and awesome people seem to like it. ;-)
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC)
I think you could be if you tried. To someone who doesn't already know you. ;)
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:07 pm (UTC)
Dude. I am so with you. Except that 'petal' is a lowercase, because it just LOOKS weird otherwise. Which does not mean I'm submissive. Even if I am. :P
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)
Here here.

I'm Eric. I use "I". There *was* a time I used "i" and "eric" but then didn't feel the need anymore. (OK, there are a few people with whom I'll still lower-case, because I know they like it. What can I say, I'm all about pleasing... others... um...)
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:19 pm (UTC)
Oct. 30th, 2007 05:34 pm (UTC)
Hey Mr. Boymeat. I will be in NYC after Thanksgiving. I hope we can hook up.
Oct. 30th, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
I do believe some hooking up can occur. ;-)
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
I've so been telling people this shit for awhile. Though you probably said it way nicer than I do.

p.s. I heart me some damn Boymeat!
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:19 pm (UTC)
A recent event had my name spelled three different ways in one program book.

1) Boymeat - my bio, copy pasted from my website, the way I prefer

2) boymeat

3) boy meat
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I thought it was un-capitalized. Oops. I know that you've got a capital P and W, but I didn't know that Boymeat was also capped, as it seems to be more of a title. (For example, everyone in my family has capital letters in the names, but not their titles. I.E. girl, boy, crrreature, stray dog, et cetera.)
Wow, I am full of fail. Sorry!
Oct. 30th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
The difference here is that "Boy" is not a descriptor of me. At least, not in the "traditional leather" sense of the word.
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)
Now I'm trying to figure out how I normally write your name, since most of the time I see it on LJ. I think I capitalize it when I type it, but if I don't, I present my apologies.
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
I never did get that whole Uppercase/lowercase thing but then again I've never tried to dominate anyone with my shift key either :-)
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
Which, if you could work it out, would be interesting to watch!
Oct. 30th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Hmmm. I have no idea if I've ever written your name out except as lj user= or in your e-mail address. So, those don't count. I sometimes play fast and loose with caps/noncaps, but never writing *a program* ye gods!

By the by. I need a scene name by January. My lj name doesn't work for me: too many syllables. Plus it easily abbreviates to ds, which implies that that's *the thing* I'm into. (Plus, for full understanding of what *I* mean by it, people need a 3 minute lecture on Lacanian psychoanalysis, which is just too much for scene... Unless *that* was my thing and that would make me very unpopular, I think.) Now you've given me more food for thought on what to aim for in a name. Might have to have LJ voting competition.

Boymeat. BOYMEAT! Mr. Boymeat. Grand Emperor Boymeat. Sr. Boymeat Esq.

Heh. ::Hugs::
Oct. 30th, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
To be honest, if I had to do it all over again, I would eschew with the scene name and just have went with Phil.

Alas, Boymeat is too well known of a name now to drop it.
Oct. 31st, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
Interesting. Also, Boymeat is well known and relatively unique. I mean, someone might, who had never heard of you, come up with it independently, but it's... unlikely. (Or at least less likely). Whereas with Phil, you'd constantly be in a "which one" scenario. In my case, $realname is mildly unusual, enough so that I'm pretty sure I don't know of any others around. I've only met one other in my life. Now, if I ever get into the scene in Poland, or Mexico City I might have trouble...
Oct. 31st, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
I've found 3 so far. There used to be a gay leatherboy who called himself Boymeat, but I haven't found any mention of him for at least 8 years or so.

Some guy in a college grouping of friends was nicknamed Mexican Boymeat.

And there is a woman on LJ who calls her boyfriend The Fabulous Boymeat.

Ah, google. Got to love ya.
Oct. 31st, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)
I've known many Phils, but only one Boymeat. I'm glad you have that scene name.

Oct. 30th, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC)
I've always valued good grammar. When I've been a Dom*, I've always insisted that my submissive type with proper grammar and caps. When I'm sub, I use proper grammar and caps and my real name still starts with a capital "P." There are a few Dommes* who have earned enough respect from me where I will sign off letters with a lowercase "p" but those are few and far between. It makes me feel more submissive with THAT person.

*I still have this silly habit of always capping the "D" in "Dom" and "Domme" as well as the "M" in "Master" or "Mistress." But that's me and I never expect that anyone else will follow that convention (unless my own submissive is addressing me as "Master." Then it's kind of like "Dad" vs. "my dad."

I never understood the W/we, U/us, T/them convention, either. Makes what they say hard to read.
Oct. 30th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
Of course, if we really wanted to follow grammar here, we wouldn't be calling ourselves "Dom" or "sub" or anything of the sort. There are no such nouns. One can be dominant or submissive, on the other hand (adjectives).
Oct. 31st, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
"Dominant" is actually used as a noun in genetics, to refer to an allele that masks the effect of another that's present when determining traits. I could find no other usage of "submissive" as a noun. Still, we've adopted these terms as nouns into our own language. They have meaning in that sense for those of use who are in the scene. Even the word "scene" has a different connotation for us.

Then, I suppose, one could argue that since we have our own language or dialect as a subculture, whatever is considered acceptable within our subculture is valid grammar for the subculture.
Oct. 31st, 2007 02:44 am (UTC)
People make too many assumptions in trying to apply some (non-existent) overarching community protocol to other people's lives.
I love how many people in the scene are good about asking gender-interesting people what pronoun they prefer. I'd love to see that extended to a more general habit of asking everyone how they like to be addressed (or just paying more attention to how people introduce themselves, sign emails, etc).

(BTW, thanks for supplying me with a topic to post on.)
Oct. 31st, 2007 11:05 am (UTC)
Gee, and all this time I thought it was Brat.

Go figure.
Your loving Auntie
Nov. 7th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
Introductions will be interesting.
Overheard at a future kink event:
Me: "Hey Joe, here is someone I think you should know, since your hoe has a kink for licking low."
"Boymeat meat joe blow and his hoe. Hoe, meat Boymeat, you two will get along neat. You like boots and he likes feet."

Sam I am
( 49 comments — Leave a comment )

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