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The funnies and not so funnies.

I heard a great quote on the radio the other day about Guitar Hero, the game that has turned thousands of people into guitar virtuosos... not.

"Hey kid... if you spent all that time you wasted playing Guitar Hero on learning how to play a real guitar, you'd be freaking Kirk Hammett."

Things that suck? American airlines planning to charge for checking bags on their flights. (NYTimes.com free registration required to read that.) OK bastards, then convince the TSA knuckleheads that a flogger and a singletail and a cane does not make me a terrorist. Talk about a forced fee. Twits.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
melebeth
May. 21st, 2008 05:12 pm (UTC)
You can't check bags without paying, you can't bring toiletries on the plane so, if you care at all about that you have to check. Fuck you American! I will not be taking your flights.

Awesome funny though.
boymeat
May. 21st, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
It pisses me off because I've been a fairly loyal American customer for a decade. My frequent flier program is most invested on that airline, and my debit card gives me miles on American. It would be a major hassle, and somewhat of a loss in way of bonus miles, for me to switch allegiances now.

It just sucks.
kathryntact
May. 21st, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
My funny-button is failing. There is some comment on the tip of my fingers about GTA but I just can't get it to come to fruition.

Damn it.

*reserves this space for being witty at another time*
boymeat
May. 21st, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC)
Your reservation is confirmed, Madame. We have the corner table waiting for you, just as you requested.
kathryntact
May. 21st, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)
Hey Boymeat … if you spent all that time you wasted playing GTA on learning how to actually be an underworld king pin you’d be in freaking jail.

Eh.

It's not even that witty. Fuck it. I fail.

Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup.
boymeat
May. 21st, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
It's doing the backstroke. Ba-da-dum.
kathryntact
May. 21st, 2008 05:36 pm (UTC)
Talented little fuck.
julian_wolf
May. 21st, 2008 05:18 pm (UTC)
Well, you do terrorize people, but I wouldn't call you a terrorist. Can you just chose to fly airlines other than AA?

(Above message that I didn't see when I was commenting covered that.)

Edited at 2008-05-21 05:19 pm (UTC)
clayfoot
May. 21st, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
tunaman finished the first Guitar Hero on Expert. After that, he said the game suggested, "Maybe you should take lessons."
visage
May. 21st, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
The one I remember is something along the lines of "maybe you should buy a real guitar".
dr_memory
May. 21st, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
grumble
"Hey kid... if you spent all that time you wasted playing Guitar Hero on learning how to play a real guitar, you'd be freaking Kirk Hammett."

Except... not. I've been hearing variations on this sentiment since the game came out, and while it's a good snark line, pretty much without fail it's always from someone who's not a musician.

Here's the deal: anyone with decent hand-eye coordination and a basic sense of rhythm can beat the first Guitar Hero game on medium difficulty within a week. Beating "hard" is probably 3-4 weeks of play past that (depending on how often you try), and you can probably get most of the way through "expert" difficulty (the hardest setting) within 2-3 months. (Most people don't bother, since the effort/reward ratio of the game drops off a bit by then.)

Now, to play through the entirety of "Creeping Death" or "Call of Ktulu"? For someone who's never picked up a guitar before? Weeks? No. Months? Not even. We're talking years of regular practice. If you're diligent and practice at least 30m a day, you might be able to approach one of Hammett's simpler solos after 18 months, but you'd probably be doing it at half-speed and you'd still drop notes here and there.

Kirk Hammett was 21 when he joined Metallica. At that point, he'd been playing guitar for six years. And compared to his later work, he's not that good on their first album. :)

Anyway, point being: learning to get really good at a guitar (or really any instrument, barring maybe the kazoo or recorder) is a huge investment of time. Ragging on people for enjoying rhythm games like Guitar Hero because "you could become a real musician with that effort" is completely underestimating the commitment needed.
boymeat
May. 21st, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Re: grumble
I totally agree with you, by the way. Being an old brass musician myself (baritone horn/euphonium and tuba), I totally understand how long it takes to get even decent with an instrument.

I just enjoyed the snarkiness.
lzbnangel
May. 21st, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
All the airlines are doing it the little bastards. So I will always have to pay extra just to bring my bootblack kit with me because I need it!! However, there are too many liquids/chemicals in it for me to be allowed to take it on the plane as my carry-on.

And for the love of Pete, don't let your bag be over the weight limit or you get another fee. I am not a conspiracy theorist on a normal basis, but these days it's hard for me not to be.

TSA...well I can't think of a single kind word to say about their rules. Just stupid I tell ya.
terrilyn
May. 24th, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
I have my own beef with the TSA right now.

Six weeks ago I went to Chicago for a wedding, forgot to check my keys, which I have a small pocketknife on.

They confiscated it, and I had to pay 10 bux to get it back via shipping...

I just got it back on Wednesday.

Fucktards.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )