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The coming week - a review

kyramus made an observation a few weeks ago about my journal - how my posts are generally "wow, my life sucks" or "wow, life is amazing," with a few strange links sprinkled in here or there. Don Q made an observation what seems like ages ago to me... he said "Phil, you are either disgustly, nauesatingly happy, or downright cause everyone to slit their wrists miserable." Now, while I'd like to think I actually live my day-to-day life somewhat more in what can be considered the normal middle, I can see their points.

Because, here, once again, is a post about how my coming week is going to SUCK

Went to jury duty today. Unfortunately, the experience lived up to my memories of my previous experience - it is one of the most mind-numbing exercises one can live through, probably second only to waiting in line at a NYC DMV office. Hours upon hours of staring at walls that were painted with a color that had the goal of easing and relaxing the viewer, while knowingly sucking their wills to live out of their nostrils. Really.

One amusing thing at the beginning - when sitting in the large jury pool, waiting for all the late-comers to show up (yeah, 8:45 AM sharp my ASS! grumble grumble grumble...), they were playing a video explaining the history of the legal process in the US, and tried to emphasise the importance of the jury to our society. To compare, they showed footage of how law was practiced in our history, complete with a story of how people were judged by being thrown into a large body of water, and if they sank, they were innocent... floating would mean guilty. It was a period piece, with horrible outfits that were clearly chosen after the Ren faire folk took all the good stuff and turned their nose up at the rest... the rest that these poor "actors" and "actresses" had to wear. Dear gods... that section of video HAD to be on the clipping floor of The Princess Bride, it was so funny.

I am currently in the middle of the jury selection process for a small, inky-dinky case. A frieken MURDER trial!!! ARRRGHHH! An estimated two-week trial in which person X alledgedly beat up, robbed, and stabbed person Y, the weapon being an ice pick. Oh yeah, the crime occurred in 1999 (the judge seemed to enjoy pointing out that the case was 5 years old.) The lawyers and judge already went through 18 potential jurors, with only 4 remaining in that bunch. That process aged me by a good 10 years. By tomorrow, I imagine I will meet my children in some horrible yet intriguing time travel disaster that can only occur in a Kings County courthouse.

I have a strange fear that I will be selected for this jury. Considering how the first 14 people let go were the biggest examples of bungling idiots I have ever had the misfortune to watch. Seriously, by demonstrating that I have post-Kindergarten levels of intelligence, I'm a shoo-in. I'd play a racial card just to get me out of jury duty, but I have two problems: (a) I have a really hard time with lying when it is not in-scene, and (b) There is enough of every racial creed in that courtroom that SOMEONE would stalk me and kick my ass.

After my brain turned to a horribly bad flavor of jello, and we were let out with only 4 jurors selected in a process that I can seriously see lasting all week, I headed into work. Because there are projects that need to get done, and jury duty or not, they need to get done. And I need to do them. I imagine this is going to be the pattern all week... jury duty, watch brain leak out of my ear, then go to work and somehow wring my liquified brain back into my head so I can function between the hours of 6-9 PM working.

Woe. Woe I tell you. Woe.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
regyt
Feb. 17th, 2004 06:09 pm (UTC)
I am currently in the middle of the jury selection process for a small, inky-dinky case. A frieken MURDER trial!!! ARRRGHHH! An estimated two-week trial in which person X alledgedly beat up, robbed, and stabbed person Y, the weapon being an ice pick.

There is no such thing as an inky-dinky case. It's pretty damned important to the defendant, even if it only lasts a few days.

That being said, if you want to get out of jury duty, just come in dressed as a hippie and the prosecutor will veto you no matter what you say. I've seen that happen again and again.
boymeat
Feb. 17th, 2004 06:12 pm (UTC)
Re:
Agreed to your first point - though I'd argue that with my usage, it is in the eyes of the beholder.

As for the second... such a great idea! Except for the facts that I would never allow myself to be seen in public, and I have to go to work right afterwards.
(no subject) - edgykitten - Feb. 17th, 2004 07:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
jaspamaster
Feb. 17th, 2004 09:19 pm (UTC)
Play the religion card.
If god says hes guilty hes guilty.

They have good points about your posting style.
slave_pug
Feb. 17th, 2004 09:41 pm (UTC)
" After my brain turned to a horribly bad flavor of jello... "

There is no such thing as a good flavor of jello.
lolitasir
Feb. 18th, 2004 04:46 am (UTC)
Live for the weekend. Road trip! We can even get cotton candy.
maryheather
Feb. 18th, 2004 04:59 am (UTC)
Tell them you're a huge Law and Order fan, and watch LOTS of Court TV. Or, if given the opportunity, ask them what "jury nullification" is.

That ought to get you off without lying (too much).
curly_chick
Feb. 18th, 2004 08:29 am (UTC)
Tell them about the work you do with the NCSF etc.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )