Boymeat (boymeat) wrote,
Boymeat
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The Jamaica Story

Remember last week when I mentioned I had to tell the Jamaica Story from my jury duty service? Well, now that the trial is over, I have full clearance to share this with you.


It was informed to us that the witness we were about to hear testimony from was arrested on the previous Tuesday, and that her attorney would be present within the audience to make sure that nothing about her case is mentioned... after all, it had absolutely no relevance to the case we were following. All of us jurors nodded, though I'm sure a few of us were a tiny bit curious as to what she was picked up for.

Oh boy did we find out.

Prosecution starts her thing, no problem, the questions go on and on, and she's done. Here comes "Slick," the defense attorney. Again, starts out with no unexpected questions - attacks her credibility, her recounting of the events that happened. Normal normal normal... then it comes.

Slick - (screaming) "Is it TRUE that you were arrested last Tuesday after a flight from Jamaica to JFK for smuggling CRACK in your ANUS and VAGINA?!"

Prosecution - "Your honor? Objection!" (Judge ignores her... seemingly too busy settling his Verizon bill - I shit you not.)

Witness - "I INSERT the fifth... this has nothing to do with what I saw!"

Slick - (louder) "Isn't it TRUE that this isn't the FIRST TIME you were arrested for smuggling CRACK in your ANUS and VAGINA!"

(Witness' attorney looks beleagured)

Witness - "I INSERT the fifth again!"

Slick - (practically on the top of his lungs) "WHO'S PAYING YOU TO SMUGGLE CRACK IN YOUR ANUS AND VAGINA!!!"

Prosecution jumps out of her seat and screams "Objection!!!!"

Witness' attorney stands up and meekly raised a finger in the air, looking pained, almost as if he was constipated - "Umm... err... your... honor?"

Slick turns to us and smiles - "No more questions, your honor."

The jury then pulls their chins off the floor and closes their jaws.
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