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Must. Stop. Hands. From. Shaking.

Want your coffee nicely stirred? Put them in my hands.

I am a nervous fucking wreck. My muscles are tighter than they have ever been. My neck has tightened up to the point that it hurts to turn my head even the slightest amount to the right. My stomach has an entire swarm of butterflies dress rehearsing their chaotic mating rituals inside it. And I have a headache.

I can't believe this move has me so agitated. My brain knows and recognizes all the logical and accurate statements - this is gonna be great, this is the best thing to happen, you will love it, blah blah blah. But it doesn't matter. I'm still worrying like a Jewish grandmother doting on her grandson without a hat.

The entire remainder of my being is freaking out. And, I can't even really put a finger on why. The move itself? The process of arranging the apartment? Living alone? Grocery shopping/food? I can't get the fucking apartment out of my head. I lie down to go to sleep, and my brain goes to ludicrous speed thinking about what needs to be done - hell, I've gone to plaid.

I need a beer. Or drugs. A blowjob would do nicely too. Something.



( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 4th, 2004 07:38 am (UTC)
Just breathe. :)

May. 4th, 2004 08:01 am (UTC)
It'll be ok, cookie, promise. I wish I could impart some petal-calm to you from here... *hug*
May. 4th, 2004 08:04 am (UTC)
how about feet?
Would feet help? ;)
May. 4th, 2004 08:07 am (UTC)
Yeah, those could help too.
May. 4th, 2004 10:02 am (UTC)
so what time do you need me?
May. 4th, 2004 08:15 am (UTC)
*I really wish I could be there for you right now...*I hope you find a calm...*
May. 4th, 2004 08:18 am (UTC)
May 21st. Or, better yet, May 24th.
May. 4th, 2004 08:30 am (UTC)
OK so would you rather a massage tomorrow to try to relax you? I would offer for tonight but I would not be able to get out until late. *hugs* you will be fine, it just seems overwhelming but once you spend the first week there, it will be HOME!
May. 4th, 2004 08:32 am (UTC)
I don't know you super well, but I'm sure you will do great! Think of it like an adventure. Or picture yourself like Mary Tyler Moore. I'm serious. There is something about that show and she moving and doing things on her own that is assuring.
May. 4th, 2004 08:39 am (UTC)
Growing pains sexy.. that's all it is... it will get better, just keep stretching.

May. 4th, 2004 09:09 am (UTC)
*snuggle* *makes soothing feline noises*

Darlin', moving is stressful. I think once you settle in, you'll love living on your own, but the actual transition is damned stressful and scary.

Good luck with the move!
May. 4th, 2004 09:29 am (UTC)
from my limited experince, I'd say you've already gotten past the worst part. You have an apartment, you will soon be in it, Hopefully you'll have time to unpack. And you will have no crazy roomate to worry about. You're a big boy, you can handle liveing by yourself. I promise.
I'd offer you my feet by I will be on them pretty much non stop for the next week or so.
*hugs and kisses*
May. 4th, 2004 09:32 am (UTC)
I think this must be the worst part. You've made a decision...so you should be there already. Transition sucks. Waiting for something nerve-wracking to happen sucks.

And you should start collecting rainchecks from your friends on all those nerve-soothing items you mentioned, to be cashed in later :)
May. 4th, 2004 10:32 am (UTC)
The whole thing is pretty big, though a lot of people wouldn't think so. First time I moved into my own place, I was a basket case.

Remember this:
1. It's going to be okay. Soon.
2. To-do lists are good to have, but don't obsess over them. Make a "wanna do" and "hafta do" column and skip the "wannas" unless you have time, energy, and willingness to do them.
3. It's going to be okay. Very soon.
4. Visualize all the fun you'll have in your own place, *without* letting that slog you down into worrying about stuff. Visualize how lovely it will be to get out of the shower and see that Barbara Nitke print on the bathroom wall. Think about how good your living room will feel with family & friends around you, just chatting and laughing. Think about all the fun you'll have in your new bedroom :)
5. Remember - it's going to be over soon. And it'll be good. Very good. You have earned it.
May. 4th, 2004 11:30 am (UTC)
If only we were still in the same city. Ahem, anyways...

*big hugs* Take some deep breaths. You can do it!
May. 4th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC)
Something I use for fending off anxiety and irritation. Dunno if this will help or not, but I figure it's worth a shot, anyways.
First: Tense shoulders, clench hands, take a deep breath in.
Then: Relax shoulders, open hands, exhale while counting to ten, slowly. Roll head on neck if that helps.

Try to picture all the stress and anxiety leaking out of your body when you breathe out.

*hug* It'll be okay. Really. Honest.
May. 4th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)
Everything will be fine...just relax...whatever you're worried about, probably won't happen...finish what you have to and then look around - it's the in limbo feeling driving you nuts...

It will be great! Your own place, filled with your own stuff...you can get rid of crap you don't want...sweetie, you won't realize how wonderful this is until you've unpacked and settled in...
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )