This really sucks because the class I am teaching tonight has me filled with angst, excitement, and pride. Tonight at TES I am teaching "Surviving Corporal 101: How to Handle the Pain; How to Handle the Emotions."
The class is breaking completely new ground for me and my teaching experience. In some ways, I see this class as the next logical step in my development in SM and leather. I have gone from fake het top to a bisexual primarily light-playing bottom to a switch to the heavy player than I am now. My classes up to this point have for the most part been physical skills, starting from the 101 end of the spectrum, and ramping up to the extreme.
This class will gather all my learnings about the things human beings go through when experiencing varying levels of pain... and how it affects the psyche and emotional makeup of that person. It is the first time I am ever touching on the spiritual side of SM... a line I refused to even look at before, and that I now find myself toeing, or even jumping, over. It really feels like the culmination of my 9 years in the scene... and a new launch pad for where I am to go from here.
I am reading and rereading the handout I prepared for tonight, and for the first I am honestly damn proud of the work I put together on the first go. Of course, in order to teach a class, the students must be there.
I hope this rain doesn't get in the way. I can sense a lot of learning happening tonight... not just for the attendees, but for me as well.