Boymeat (boymeat) wrote,

How I am feeling.

A lot of people have been asking me how I'm feeling. I suppose that's worth it's own little post.

I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling. I told Tessa last night that I was feeling not so good, fairly OK, not sure? That was my summary.

Last night was the first night she and I never talked in a VERY long time. It was kind of eery. I started "hearing" my cell phone when it clearly wasn't ringing. Talk about your classic mental case. Sheesh. I attempted to force myself to concentrate on other things... but yeah, I was half-expecting her to call. And then I realized - that call just wasn't going to come.

So, yeah, I'm really sad, and missing her terribly. It is quite the adjustment.

But, I know I'll live. And I know I'm OK.

My attitude is this  - she needs this time for herself, she needs me to stand away, and that could take a week, or it could last forever. But I need to allow her to walk her own path.

I had an amazing year with her. I will treasure that year forever. And, when one has had that amazing of a year, how can one be angry?

I'm not.

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