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I'm not usually one for regrets...

Talking to a friend earlier today has made me realize something very important and profound. I think my mind was touching on it when I wrote my post about getting older... and my realizations of past relationships.

I have come to terms with the fact that I have acted irresponsibly in the past.

I have acted irresponsibly because I did not honor my partners well. I did not honor their feelings towards me... and made judgement calls that were not mine to make. I made ill-timed decisions that had more impact than I allowed myself to predict... and I believe I am still feeling the ramifications of these decisions to this day.

I have not given my partners the attention and devotion that they deserve.

It is a new year, and one theoretically starts the year out fresh. So, to do that, allow me this one weepy emo-shit post to clear my head somewhat.

To those I have scorned... to those who I fucked up with... to you, who's devotion I misread, and acted so irresponsibly about, and in the end shot myself in the foot worse than I could have ever feared....

I'm sorry.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 4th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
Part of life is making mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. You are a beautiful man, inside and out.

Bright Blessings for your New Year!
Jan. 4th, 2005 06:43 pm (UTC)
Grandma Lily would tell you that each relationship is a stepping stone to that one perfect one. You have learned a hard and valuable lesson. I know she would be proud of you my dear.

I'm pretty darn proud of you too.
Jan. 4th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
Life is about learning... for you, and for those you were discussing. *hug* miss you too...
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 4th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)

You know what I would say.
So I'll leave it at that.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )