October 8th, 2002

Songs that carry a thousand stories within...

I've been sitting here at my computer for the past 4+ hours, contemplating how to teach SM 101 this weekend at Dungeon 701, down in Florida. Something I have always taken for granted has become quite the task... teach the basics of SM to a crowd mixed with complete newbies and advanced players.

My mind... searching for myriads of ways to procrastinate... became very pensive. Thinking about all the different people that touch my life in their own ways. Relationships past... relationships to come... and relationships changing before my eyes in the present. I have always thought... how much love can one being give? How much do I have within to share?

I think I figured out that the amount of love I have to give is equal and/or greater to the amount of love given to me. And as I sit here... I realize that I have been blessed with love... limitless bounds of love... from friends to soulmates. I consider myself one of the most privileged in the world... and it is because of it that I seek to share as much love as I can with those that cross my travels.

In my procrastination... I pushed play on the Blues Traveler "Save His Soul" album. I have always been drawn towards this album... it serves as a soothing respite to the beast within me. At the end is an epic piece, "Fledgling." I first listened to this song 2 days before my high school graduation... and I cried. I cried not even understanding the lyrics... just knowing it meant so much to me. In ways I couldn't describe.

I cried again tonight. Fledging represents the growth of the human spirit. Of continuing ones journey through self-discovery and advancement. Of change, and embracing that change. Of fear, and embracing that fear, and submitting to the sheer freedom it gives. I look around to all my compatriots, and I see that growth in everyone... in everything. In people I will share the rest of my life with... Kate... Lolita... my family. In my friends... Tessa... Devina.. Spike & Daisy... everyone. In people who I love deeply, and yet am experiencing those very changes talked about with... Luna. To my nieces... and my new nephew. Changes everywhere... self-discovery. Life.

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    Blues Traveler

Checking into the reality of my life...

And just so that everyone knows that your ever-lovable Boymeat is still here, and still full of little things that offend 3/4 of the planet...

Last night I discovered the true joys of having a laptop computer and a wireless router... while checking LJ from the can.