January 4th, 2005

I'm not usually one for regrets...

Talking to a friend earlier today has made me realize something very important and profound. I think my mind was touching on it when I wrote my post about getting older... and my realizations of past relationships.

I have come to terms with the fact that I have acted irresponsibly in the past.

I have acted irresponsibly because I did not honor my partners well. I did not honor their feelings towards me... and made judgement calls that were not mine to make. I made ill-timed decisions that had more impact than I allowed myself to predict... and I believe I am still feeling the ramifications of these decisions to this day.

I have not given my partners the attention and devotion that they deserve.

It is a new year, and one theoretically starts the year out fresh. So, to do that, allow me this one weepy emo-shit post to clear my head somewhat.

To those I have scorned... to those who I fucked up with... to you, who's devotion I misread, and acted so irresponsibly about, and in the end shot myself in the foot worse than I could have ever feared....

I'm sorry.
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