June 21st, 2005

Soft gloves

I feel weird even writing about this.

Talking to a loved one who came over for dinner last night made me realize that I am currently on the brink of what I can handle emotionally and in terms of stress.

She made me realize that there are certain aspects of my personality that are causing me grief and depression, but they are so integral and core to my being that I am caught in a vicious cycle.

So, I guess what I am saying is... I need to be treated with kid gloves for the time being. I am close to wreakage, and only preserverance and breathing will pull me through it.

If I can survive through July, I will hopefully be in a better place.

Too much change, too rapidly, too much all at once. But all neccessary.

I wonder if this is how a phoenix feels when bursting into flames, just to be reborn.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed

Gotta love family

Thank goodness for my leather family.

After seeing a shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood up 5 flights of shitty stairs, I went out for some fun.

lolitasir and our Leather Mommy Cara went out to see Avenue Q. Fabulous, fabulous show. Made just for Muppet freaks like me.

I'll figure out a way to incorporate them into my kink, somehow.

Interesting take away from that show. First time I haven't truly left a broadway show inspired and feeling like all was well in the world. Wonder if I forced some interpretations due to my current mood.

Still, it was muppets on stage. And they cursed and did sexual things. On Broadway.


On a more sad note, Mommy was supposed to stay the night with me, but I sent her back home with my sis. Looks like lucky me came down with a cold. Two days before I leave for Leather Retreat. Damnit.
  • Current Mood
    apathetic apathetic