June 21st, 2006

A resurfacing, but just for a bit.

*sigh*

People are starting to leave already for Leather Retreat. Others are busy packing, and getting ready to leave tomorrow or Friday.

And for the 1st time in quite a few years, I won't be going with them.

It never hit me that I am not going to the event until now. Now, I'm very sad to be missing it. LR is really one of my favorite events. I consider it my annual vacation... my time to relax, play when I want, have sex when I want, and not worry about keeping any schedule except for eating.

I love OINK cabin. I love how lolitasir and I put together our dream team every year. I love being with her at the event... grounding one another.

I'm very sad now.

But there was no way. I am such a ball of stress... the morning of Leather Pride Night, I woke up with blinding shoulder muscle pain... and I am convinced it was due to all the stress I am going through. A friend actually gave me an upper when he saw me at LPN - because just saying hello to him made me practically burst into tears.

TESFest is just around the corner. Work is heavy. I can't quit now.

I just need to make it to July 4th. Then I can fall down.
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