August 29th, 2007

A shot in the dark by a silly handcuff collector.

There is this amazing set of cuffs that is made in England. They're known worldwide as being some of the most secure cuffs around. The problem is, they are not available to the general public. At all.

So what I now need to find is someone kinky in England who is friends with some in law enforcement there who can swipe a set of cuffs for me and somehow in a large chain of unlikely actions get them into my eager palms.

So... got any friends in England?

Geez. I've got the collecting bug and bad.
dilbert hit keyboard

Where Boymeat humiliates himself, part 266.

If I keep having these amazing feats of genius, Mensa will clearly be coming after me to force me off their turf.

I recentely bought 4 pairs of brand new Levi's 501s on eBay for an amazing total price (including shipping) of $75. This is unheard of, considering new pairs in the store can run over $45 each. I felt so proud of my Jewish heritage when I clicked to send my PayPal payment.

Until today.

I was half way through a 3-hour long conference call, and hadn't said a word yet (nor would I for the entire time.) I stretched my legs under the table, looked down, and was struck by something rather odd. I could swear that one leg was different than the other.

Upon closer inspection of my brand new jeans that I wore today, I discovered that yes - the left side of my pants is darker than the right side. My brand new jeans are two different colors - it's as if they split two different pairs of jeans in half, and then merged opposite halves in some sort of freaked out gene splicing experiment gone totally wrong. (Get it? GENE splicing? HA!)

I feel like a jester walking around like this. Thankfully, after a personally administrated private study with three respondents, my pants of a different color has not been noticed. Only I, and now you, my faithful reader, know how silly I look.
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    embarrassed embarrassed