March 26th, 2009

IMsL Part One - Love and Lust.

Ranting will have to be pushed aside for now. Because now good feelings are washing over my body, and I must give in to them.

It's hard to come up with the words about how amazing this past weekend was. How much pride I felt in who I am and who I choose to surround myself with. How much love I felt from those I love back. How much caring was shown for others. How much sheer lust pulsated through that event that it could be felt dripping off the walls and ceiling. How much amazingly scorching hot play happened. 
 
I'm flabbergasted, really. 
 
When I sit back today and reminisce, I forget all the bad things. I forget all about my misplaced luggage that I just had returned to me, the panic of losing my cell phone to then have it returned Tuesday afternoon by an amazing samaritan. 
 
I can only feel two things... love, and lust. 
 
Lust. 
 
Let's face it, there was a lot of it. 
 
The look of my girl's eyes boring into mine as my piss flows in streams over her body during my class. How the attendees melted away for the briefest of seconds as our eyes locked and we shared with each other the most intimate of sex acts. How her mouth opened and tasted my stream, an educational act turned into one of devious desire. 
 
Seeing all of the class attendees smiling and writhing in their seats afterwords. 
 
The sounds of a lovely British girl gasping and moaning as we stepped out of the LJ/Fetlife/Twitter world and entered into real life.

The excitement of a hot, hot, HOT butch who I purchased in the Celebrity Auction who finally got to writhe in masochistic heaven in a scene that blurred reality altogether.

The looks of lust in the friend who received me as a gift from the Celebrity Auction, having not bottomed in a year and a half, trusting me and wanting me to bring her back to that place. The sounds when clothespins are whipped off the body into the air, followed by the giggles afterwords.

The sheer pleasure bouncing off the walls as the hottest man in NYC dressed in a luche libre mask bottomed to two gender warriors as we all watched and shared in the joy.

Watching my sister singletail a close and dear friend, and feeling the release of hunger that came with it.

The feel of Cinderella's tongue after she tried on Prince Charming's panties oh so briefly, foreshadowing possible future encounters.

Watching family members give in to the urges and show their deviant selves, proving all the way that I was born to be in this family.

The taste of blood on my lips as the thorns of a rose cane pierced my love over and over again, to then be whipped into frenzy afterwords. Our tongues entwined sharing our essences.

Lust was certainly everywhere you looked. Everywhere you touched. Everywhere you walked.

And it was backed by love.

Deep rooted love that grounded us. Made us strong. Akin to the roots of a tree, keeping us in place and binding us to the safety and sureness that we need to truly live.

Love from family.

Love from friends.

Love from partners.

The love felt from just sitting with your pack, sharing in the joys and the spectacles.

The love that makes you leap to a friend in need. When a scene goes awry, and after the bottom has been treated and dealt with, your love for a friend brings you to him to hold his hand, stroke his hair, and make the bad softly drift away. The love that enables you to be there at those moments, instinctively, immediately, without any doubt.

The love for people who you have not seen in months, or even years, that enables you to fall into each others arms as if we last graced each others presence only yesterday. 

The love for my partner who trusted me when panic reared it's head, allowing me to bring her into an uncomfortable place and make it hot and wonderful and delicious, especially when no one was watching.

Lust and love. Love and lust. Which is the egg, and which is the chicken? Did they hatch in consecutive order, or did it all explode at the same time, transcending biology and the other sciences and turning into something otherworldly?

IMsL 2009 had both in riches. And we got to bathe in its spoils.

I'm still counting my treasures.
  • Current Mood
    enthralled enthralled

IMsL Part 2 - Being a Cis-Gendered Male at a Women's Event.

This was the third IMsL I've been in attendance for, having previously attended 1999 in Las Vegas and 2000 in Toronto. One of the large differences of this event was that in the previous two, I hardly left lolitasir's side, attending more or less as her guest. This time, I set my own path and stood on my own two feet.

Being a cis-gendered/biological male at a women's event can be intimidating. It's even more so when you do not identify as a gay man, but as a bisexual who predominantly dates women. The risks are mighty.

Risks of offending people with my hetero-normative sexuality.

Risks of overstepping boundaries that are not easily seen or felt.

Risks of invading a space that was designed and created for a different community subset than I am a part of.

I know first hand about the sacredness of special spaces. Having a hand in the creation of TNG has made me very protective of the right to safe space for specific subgroups of people. While IMsL is open to everyone, it makes no secret of the fact that it was created and designed to serve the women's SM/leather community. It is well known to me that I am there as a guest, not neccessarily as a part of its intended target audience.

To be invited to teach in such a space makes my presence an even higher honor, and exposes me to even more risk. For now I have responsibility on a larger scale.

Glenda/makeplayhappen in all her sadistic glory invited me to teach piss play at IMsL this year. I immediately accepted, and then realized what I was stepping into. Teaching piss play to dykes? Pulling out my bio-cock to piss on a girl in front of a group of queer/trans/lesbians/dykes? *gulp!*

So how does one navigate all of these potential pitfalls and help contribute to a more successful event for yourself and for others?

Through my years of being in a leather family made primarily of dykes, and having lolitasir slapping the upside of my head countless times in my youth, here is what I've learned:

1) You are there to make friends, not play partners. Go in with a friendly, non-threatening attitude that welcomes friendship while at the same time never presents itself as you trying to "score" with people who's sexualities differ from yours. Recognize that they are there to play with people with different gender/sexuality presentations than you, and be content with friendship and camaraderie.

2) Do not hit on people! If anything, let them hit on you. Now, that sounds cocky, but it isn't. Do not operate under the assumption that you will be hit on, and certainly do not hit on others. I let play opportunities present themselves naturally, without force, and without any expectations. When others signal interest, I am even more thankful for the opportunity, and I show that appreciation.

3) Do not shy away from your gender/sexuality, but don't flaunt it either. I am not embarrassed to be a cis-gendered male, nor am I embarrassed about my bisexuality. When I taught my piss play class, I was upfront with my biological package, and my sexuality. I am proud of who I am, and I do not shy away from it when asked. That being said, my dick had very little involvement with people I interacted with at IMsL. Heterosexual men are known for making it all about their cock. My cock stays far the fuck away unless invited first.

4) Be helpful, involve yourself into the event, volunteer, and be active. One of the major risks of being a cis-gendered male at this kind of event is being thought to be there to "try to score some hot lesbian chicks." And unfortunately, this mentality DOES exist, and it makes my job as a cis-gendered male so much more difficult. I combat this by becoming involved. I help out... I ask if anything needs to be done. I demonstrate that I'm there to support the event, not to get my rocks off.

5) Know when to shut up and disappear. There are moments at the event that aren't made for you. And this goes beyond the female/trans-only play spaces. There are shared moments of attraction, sentimentality, etc. that happen in public that should be given honor to. Doing honor to these moments sometimes means removing yourself and letting people have their moment without you present. It's OK.

6) Do not assume one's gender presentation!!! Granted, this comes out of trans 101, but with the burgeoning queer populace at SM events, this point is even more important. Politely and respectively ask people what pronouns they prefer. Do not assume what someone calls their genitalia. For example, in my piss play class, I constantly referred to lower genitalia as "stuff." It's a cute, lackadaisical word, but it also helped me avoid using blanket terms like cunt, vagina, cock, etc. when people can define their parts differently. One woman accused me of not being able to say the word "vagina," clearly because I was male. I answered no, that I was being respectful to all gender presentations. It was the right answer.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished