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January 16th, 2013

- Husband!

- Wife!

- What are you doing? You do not call. You do not write. You no longer love me?

- Nope. I found this really sexy stapler. We're running off together to Office Depot.

- I'm so sad. What's the bitch's name?

- Swingline. Sexy, right?

- Totes.

- *kiss* But don't worry, we're going to be poly, so I can still be with you and she can finally give in to her lust for post-it notes.

- Dork.