Let it be known that jbsegal is a mensch. Because of that man, I am now smiling from cheek to cheek, and giggling like I did when I was just a little boy.

Because, you see, JB has made it possible for me to re-visit my youth listening to Allan Sherman.

All of those close to me, and who dare visit my home once I move in this Friday, be advised... you will most certainly be subjected to this artisan of Jewish folk musical humour.

I am so happy right now, I could plotz.

badfaggot, these lyrics are for you.

Seltzer Boy

(Parody of "Water Boy")

Seltzer boy
Where are you hiding
If you don't come right now
I'm gon' tell you boss on you

Oy.

Don't bring me water
I rather have seltzer
'Cause water don't bubble
And water don't fizz

Water I hate it
'Cause it ain't carbonated
But a glass of seltzer
On the other hand is

Don't bring me Pepsi
Don't bring me a Kool-Aid
Don't bring a malted
And don't bring me champagne

I'll tell you what boy
Bring me one scotch and soda
Then you'll take back the scotch, boy
And leave the 2 cents plain

Seltzer boy
When are you coming?
If don't bring that seltzer
I'm gon' tell Mister Meltzer on you

Seltzer boy
[Seltzer squirting]
That's better, could you put in a little chocolate sauce?