Boymeat (boymeat) wrote,

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Question #8: What's in a name?

Two different people asked me the same question, one coming from a surprising source (but I'm glad you asked.) So, the question(s):

8a) Why use the nickname boymeat? Did you come up with it or what it given to you? Is there a story behind it? Have there been others?

8b) Why do you use the name boymeat? where does it come from? And why have you not changed it since you have changed?

The short version is, at first, I didn't choose the name. It was chosen for me. I ran with it because... well... why not?

This is one of my most told tales here in NYC, so I will spare a lot of you by making it a little easier. I wrote the beginning of the story a long long time ago here. The last paragraph isn't germaine to this tale... you can skip that. So, if you're really interested, click on that link and read that first.

The remainder of this story, which many have heard, is behind the cut.

The conclusion of the story was returning to TES the next Tuesday. Mind you... back then, it was a really big deal to label yourself as a switch. The "true dominants" and "true submissives" scoffed at switches, and many believed we didn't really exist. That, like bisexuals, we were fence-sitters and simply hadn't made up our minds yet. Or, we were second class players who didn't deserve a seat at the table. It was actually debated lots.

Anyway, when I got back to TES, I was surrounded by a whole slew of my switch friends. I had lolitasir on my left, another friend who I'm not sure would want to get named on my right, and other people included susanoftheq, volund, quite possibly alanesq, and a host of other reckognizable TESers. During circle, in which everyone goes around and introduces themselves, I said the following:

"Well, normally I would call myself a heterosexual dominant male, but today, I'm going to have to say I am a switch."

Everyone went crazy go nuts, and hooped and hollered. When the crowd had somewhat died down, the legendary Morgan HMQ had her jaw dropped to the floor. She looked at me (the grand dominant woman she is) and swore, "No, not you too!!!"

The person on my right leaned in and said loud enough for everyone to hear, "You know, we like fresh meat around here." lolitasir then replied, "But, he's just a boy... meat... Boymeat!!!!" And with a loud groan from yours truly, I was named. I tried to shake the name for a good 6 months, but there it stuck.

Now, why did I keep it? Good question. At first, I really didn't think I had a choice. All my friends had so much fun with it, combined with lolitasir's perverse joy in humiliating me, made it a moot point. Later, I found some benefits in having the nickname. For one, there was more than one Phil around TES around that time, and I didn't mind distancing myself from the other one (in fact, I prefered it.) Also, Phil was a very unmemorable name - Boymeat kind of stuck with a person.

Later, as I shifted to become much more of a top, I began to enjoy the mindfuck my name gave people. Let's face it, Boymeat is not a frightening name. In fact, it led most people to assume that I was a bottom... that combined with my youth. Presenting myself as a top with that name caused many people to go "Er?" People who were able to see past that, or get the joke, became much more attractive to me.

Today? I use it because it is known. Friends know me as Phil... very few people recognize me at Phil Wolf... and an even smaller number know me by my real last name (though a few gay men in the scene seem to always want to change that.) I have thought about coming fully out with my full name, but then my recognizability diminishes. I dunno if it is worth it.

I also laugh over the prospect of being 80 years old and still called Boymeat.

So, I don't mind the name Boymeat. It is memorable, and it is a part of me. But I also sign my e-mails as Phil.

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