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Question #8: What's in a name?

Two different people asked me the same question, one coming from a surprising source (but I'm glad you asked.) So, the question(s):

8a) Why use the nickname boymeat? Did you come up with it or what it given to you? Is there a story behind it? Have there been others?

8b) Why do you use the name boymeat? where does it come from? And why have you not changed it since you have changed?

The short version is, at first, I didn't choose the name. It was chosen for me. I ran with it because... well... why not?

This is one of my most told tales here in NYC, so I will spare a lot of you by making it a little easier. I wrote the beginning of the story a long long time ago here. The last paragraph isn't germaine to this tale... you can skip that. So, if you're really interested, click on that link and read that first.

The remainder of this story, which many have heard, is behind the cut.

The conclusion of the story was returning to TES the next Tuesday. Mind you... back then, it was a really big deal to label yourself as a switch. The "true dominants" and "true submissives" scoffed at switches, and many believed we didn't really exist. That, like bisexuals, we were fence-sitters and simply hadn't made up our minds yet. Or, we were second class players who didn't deserve a seat at the table. It was actually debated lots.

Anyway, when I got back to TES, I was surrounded by a whole slew of my switch friends. I had lolitasir on my left, another friend who I'm not sure would want to get named on my right, and other people included susanoftheq, volund, quite possibly alanesq, and a host of other reckognizable TESers. During circle, in which everyone goes around and introduces themselves, I said the following:

"Well, normally I would call myself a heterosexual dominant male, but today, I'm going to have to say I am a switch."

Everyone went crazy go nuts, and hooped and hollered. When the crowd had somewhat died down, the legendary Morgan HMQ had her jaw dropped to the floor. She looked at me (the grand dominant woman she is) and swore, "No, not you too!!!"

The person on my right leaned in and said loud enough for everyone to hear, "You know, we like fresh meat around here." lolitasir then replied, "But, he's just a boy... meat... Boymeat!!!!" And with a loud groan from yours truly, I was named. I tried to shake the name for a good 6 months, but there it stuck.

Now, why did I keep it? Good question. At first, I really didn't think I had a choice. All my friends had so much fun with it, combined with lolitasir's perverse joy in humiliating me, made it a moot point. Later, I found some benefits in having the nickname. For one, there was more than one Phil around TES around that time, and I didn't mind distancing myself from the other one (in fact, I prefered it.) Also, Phil was a very unmemorable name - Boymeat kind of stuck with a person.

Later, as I shifted to become much more of a top, I began to enjoy the mindfuck my name gave people. Let's face it, Boymeat is not a frightening name. In fact, it led most people to assume that I was a bottom... that combined with my youth. Presenting myself as a top with that name caused many people to go "Er?" People who were able to see past that, or get the joke, became much more attractive to me.

Today? I use it because it is known. Friends know me as Phil... very few people recognize me at Phil Wolf... and an even smaller number know me by my real last name (though a few gay men in the scene seem to always want to change that.) I have thought about coming fully out with my full name, but then my recognizability diminishes. I dunno if it is worth it.

I also laugh over the prospect of being 80 years old and still called Boymeat.

So, I don't mind the name Boymeat. It is memorable, and it is a part of me. But I also sign my e-mails as Phil.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
“Grampa Jailbait! Tell us a story!”

Yeah, I know the feeling. :)
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
I think I know who that other friend on your right was. If it's who I think it is, and if you happen to still be in touch with him, please tell him I say hi. It's been too long since I've seen him. Hell, it's been too long since I've seen a whole slew of my TES friends from my early days.
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
By the way, even if you changed your scene name, you would always be boymeat to me. :-)
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)
Yes, I suspect that is another large reason why my name will never go away.
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC)
It was a woman. Who were you thinking?
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:51 pm (UTC)
Ah, I was way off the mark. For some reason, I had remembered Officer Hogg being part of that story. I think I conflated two different stories. Must be a sign of old age on my part. :)
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, the Hogster was definetely with us in Boston. But he wasn't at the TES meeting where I made my grand debut.

I actually haven't seen or heard from Hogg in years. I do miss him.
Mar. 8th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks for writing about this, since I'd wondered about the origin of your name.

Now imagine me saying 'Graaaandpa Boymeat' in a heavy Yiddish accent, boychik. Hee!
Mar. 8th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC)
I agree that it is a memorable name. I don't know if I would've remembered if you were just introduced to me as 'Phil.'
Mar. 9th, 2007 12:57 am (UTC)
Memories of introductions
I remember asking the story and you giving me the Reader's Digest version. The part that stuck in my mind was you discussing your friend (whose name excapes me... sorry) and how you were fully prepared to be the Statler and Waldorf of the BDSM community... "You call that a flogging??? Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!"

I need to make it up to NYC sometime.
Mar. 9th, 2007 03:35 am (UTC)
Ahh, the memories... (although I hope not to think of The Other Phil again anytime soon)
Mar. 9th, 2007 04:34 am (UTC)
Are you available to come on the radio with me tomorrow night to talk of the joy of foots. (I love 'em!) And what ever else tickles our fancies? I am co-hosting the Derek & Romaine Show on Sirius Satellite Out Q. (I'm going to be Derek for a night.) It would happen around 8pm on 49th Street. What do you think?
Mar. 9th, 2007 02:28 pm (UTC)
Tomorrow as in Saturday night?

I might. Let's talk more about this. E-mail me? BoymeatTES@aol.com
Mar. 10th, 2007 08:18 am (UTC)
Phil is more memorable to me than boymeat...
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )