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I hear incomprehensible speaches and song being broadcasted out of a piss-poor PA system outside my office window. Upon further investigation, I learned that it is one of the great legion of Mitzvah Tanks working hard to spread the word that a man who died in 1994 is somehow coming back to life to lead us all into the 3rd Soverign Kingdom of Jews. (Ask them for more details, and they'll tell you that the next Great Temple of Israel is on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn.)

I am proud of being a Jew. Really I am. But oy, those Lubavitch can really grate on my nerves.

I guess I still haven't forgiven them for throwing rocks at my father and I as we serviced clients in Williamsburg, Brooklyn one Saturday morning in the '80s. Or was that the Satmar? It's hard to tell.

Edit: After further research (going down and smoking a cigarette and listening to the proproganda, I mean, speaches) I have learned that there are 57 Mitzvah Tanks out in force today. Each one commorating a year of Rabbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson's reign over the Lubavitch and Jews everywhere. Mind you, they are of course counting the years since 1994, when he died. 'Cause the guy is just that good.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 29th, 2007 05:38 pm (UTC)
Yeah, they out in Full Force @ Union Square today!

Do we work in the same building now or something? Weird :)

Mar. 29th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
No, I'm more downtown and west. But the KISS Army... uh... wait... the Lubavitch Legion is certainly out in force today. (Not sure which I would prefer... KISS... Lubavitch... knife to stab out my ears...)
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Mar. 29th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it was the Satmars. Still... still! As far as I'm concerned, they're both equally cult-ish.

But seriously, the man over and over and over again rejected claims that he was the messiah. Leave the man alone and pick a new Rebbe already. Sheesh.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 29th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
Wow. I didn't know about the controversy. When the Rebbe died, my boyfriend made me watch the funeral on TV and was trying to translate for me.
Mar. 29th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC)
I spent the summer in Israel when I was 17 (yes that was a long loooong time ago!) and hand's down the scariest experience I had was walking through a Hasidic section of Jerusalem late afternoon on a Friday. Why? My American female friend and I were wearing shorts and tshirts, and we were walking hand in hand with the Israeli soldiers we had picked up the week before. It was seriously scary. The soldiers hated the Hasids so they were enjoying provoking them. As we walked more and more men in dark Hasidic clothes gathered to stare at us disapprovingly. Some boys started following us. I was sure we would be stoned.
Mar. 29th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
Or at the very least a stern lecturing.
Mar. 29th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
I don't know. It felt way more hostile than that. We were clearly Fallen Women. Or Shameless Hussies. :)
Mar. 29th, 2007 05:49 pm (UTC)
I saw them up around 50th and Ave of the Americas today during lunch?

RVing Jews.

I couldn't believe it.
Mar. 29th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
Now, if they were singing "Moving Right Along," I'd be tickled pink.
Mar. 29th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
I don't think that's allowed
Mar. 29th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
Frickin Jewish Moonies. (My uncle's one. It grates a lot.)
Mar. 29th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)
Reminds me of the shirts that say "I got stoned in Jerusalem" .. yknow, for walking through Mea She'arim in a t-shirt or shorts :-)
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Apr. 2nd, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
I just want you to know I've been thinking for days on how to react to this... and I still can't quite figure it out. My blood quickens but I'm not sure in excitement or dread.

Quite the puzzlement.

Kris Kristofferson in black suit, hat, and pais. Oh dear lord.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )