I hear incomprehensible speaches and song being broadcasted out of a piss-poor PA system outside my office window. Upon further investigation, I learned that it is one of the great legion of Mitzvah Tanks working hard to spread the word that a man who died in 1994 is somehow coming back to life to lead us all into the 3rd Soverign Kingdom of Jews. (Ask them for more details, and they'll tell you that the next Great Temple of Israel is on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn.)

I am proud of being a Jew. Really I am. But oy, those Lubavitch can really grate on my nerves.

I guess I still haven't forgiven them for throwing rocks at my father and I as we serviced clients in Williamsburg, Brooklyn one Saturday morning in the '80s. Or was that the Satmar? It's hard to tell.

Edit: After further research (going down and smoking a cigarette and listening to the proproganda, I mean, speaches) I have learned that there are 57 Mitzvah Tanks out in force today. Each one commorating a year of Rabbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson's reign over the Lubavitch and Jews everywhere. Mind you, they are of course counting the years since 1994, when he died. 'Cause the guy is just that good.