So, borrowed from sweets00 who borrowed it from someone who borrowed it from someone (as memes are known to be borrowed), here is one for today:
Write yourself the most unattractive Personal Ad possible, without either making anything up about yourself, or sounding like you're trying to be unappealing.
My two takes:
Take One - Arguable Male, begrudgingly over 30. Hopeless romantic seeks filthy whore.
Ruled way too appealing.
Take Two - 31 year old paranoid New York male Jew who keeps getting mistaken for a FTM and has never seen the inside of a gym in his life seeks partner to serve as a living, breathing Real Doll. Expected to create specific body odors at my whim (buying deodorant supports terrorists), keep excellent care of feet, be escorted into public and/or private bathrooms for filthy sex acts at a moments notice, and act out incest fantasies that would make Caligula blush. Pain tolerance is a must, as is superior knowledge of cover-up makeup. Must be caring, sweet, intelligent, sane, and MUST meet my mother. Excellent naked cooks a plus.
In other news, I think I might be in the upcoming Time Out New York sex issue. I'll update you all as it comes closer.