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There's that damn scale again.

I honestly forgot how this felt - the alternating feelings of calm rationality and then grief and misery coming on like a maelstrom.

It's different than before, as I have a better understanding of the why's, and the how's. What I don't have any clue of is what's next, and that bothers me.

But that scale of emotions - I keep tipping back and forth, back and forth. This is normal, I know. The trick is to manage to take care of myself, and not do any further damage to my interests, in the process. I have friends, and I will lean on them. I am going away the next two weekends, and I will enjoy my times away. I will strive to reclaim my apartment from the absolute hideous disaster it has become, and turn it back into a clean living space.

And I plan on reaching out for sex. Lots and lots and lots of sex.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 9th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
I feel bad for you going through this hard time. *hugs* I wish I could come visit and share much muppet love with you. Just drop a note if you need a friend to talk to. **Much Love** from NC
Oct. 9th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
Don't think about what's next. Now is the time to remain in the moment as much as possible.
Oct. 9th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry that you have been having such a rough time lately. ::hug:: May your friends aid you in finding solace....I'm sure the time away and all that sex might help a bit too. Take care!
Oct. 9th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC)
I'm happy to get together for a glass of wine and friendship tonight as I told you via email. No sex though. Sorry :/

Oct. 9th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
Reach out and touch someone...all over!
Oct. 9th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
Sigh. I think there is nothing to do but "get through it".

You should see my house, it is a disaster from my back and forth emotions. I had been planning to clean it on Sunday - but now have much better plans - thanks to your intervention.
Oct. 10th, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
nc edge plans?
Oct. 10th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
Movies help me a lot at times like this. Distraction, and lots of it. Hang in there.
Oct. 10th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)
I will do my best to give you a vacation while you're here in New Mexico- a bit of a break.

Shoot me an email so I can make sure my ideas actually interest you. (For once, that wasn't a an allusion to something kinky. That's what the hotel and play parties are for. I actually want to show you around our city.)
Oct. 10th, 2007 01:49 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're struggling right now.
Oct. 10th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
Misery loves company. You really should come down and see us you know. We miss you.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )