It's different than before, as I have a better understanding of the why's, and the how's. What I don't have any clue of is what's next, and that bothers me.
But that scale of emotions - I keep tipping back and forth, back and forth. This is normal, I know. The trick is to manage to take care of myself, and not do any further damage to my interests, in the process. I have friends, and I will lean on them. I am going away the next two weekends, and I will enjoy my times away. I will strive to reclaim my apartment from the absolute hideous disaster it has become, and turn it back into a clean living space.
And I plan on reaching out for sex. Lots and lots and lots of sex.