But first, I will take a brief pause to enjoy how horrible that previous sentence looks.
When do you like to switch?
At first glance, this question for some reason made me uncomfortable. While I used to bottom a whole lot in my youth, today my bottoming/submission side feels deeply personal. I'm going to answer this anyway, if anything to push through this strange wall that seems to have come up.
I firmly identify as a switch, however... I don't bottom very often anymore. The last time I remember seriously bottoming in an impact scene was at Leather Retreat 2007, to holey1. And I think the last time I bottomed in any formal SM scene was last July at Thunder in the Mountains when lolitasir tied me up and blindfolded me, and I was forced to submit to an overwhelming blowjob. Yes, it was a tough scene.
The attraction for long, large painful scenes just isn't there anymore. I wrote about this a while ago in my Leather Retreat post from last year. I enjoy different things today, more romantic kinds of play, if that makes any sense.
I am very picky who I bottom to. There needs to be a very deep level of trust and skill. The scenes I enjoy these days are less forceful, less violent... actually, as I type this, I think another good way of looking at this is I am not really into thud much anymore. Today, in my mind at this very second, it is canes and scalpels that get me intrigued. Not much else.
But it's not as simple as that.
In some ways, I switch every day. There is a definite D/s tone to my relationship with lolitasir. If there is one person in this entire universe I generally submit to, it is her. Years ago this aspect to our relationship was much more pronounced. Today, it's very subtle. I consciously perform little acts of service for her, here and there, that to the outside world would seem like nothing out of the ordinary. But we know what it means.
In the past 2 years, I have come to enjoy submitting sexually more. I am using the definition of the world submit very loosely here however. There are definite specific things I enjoy in this space, and things I don't I generally don't tolerate well. So in some ways it is a highly negotiated submission, but I do enjoy getting into that head space with the right person.
I also love bottoming to bondage. Put me in a hood, and I'm gone. Then wrap me up, whether it be rope, or mummification, or chains, or cuffs, and I'm a happy boy. Let me lie there and stew in my own juices, lovingly stroke me and pet me, or straddle me and use me sexually, it's all good.
I see a lot of people blinking right now. Yes, many of you think I'm not into bondage. That's not true at all - I just like to be the bottom.
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