I'm not ready to talk about Leather Retreat yet. I had a brilliant amount of fun, and did succeed at my previous goal of whoring. I had amazing time with friends, and I met new ones. I lost some major parts of me, and I might have gained some as well.

I'm not sure when I'll be ready to talk about it. But to everyone who crossed my path at camp, thank you. And to OINK, thank you.

I will tell you a brief story though. Reading comics as I grew up, I always fantasized about being a male version of Catwoman. A sleek creature dressed in black, sneaking in and out of apartments late at night and grabbing whatever touched my fancy. This morning proved that I should ponder more about any future career changes.

Because this morning I somehow managed to lock myself inside my apartment. That's right, I didn't lock myself out, I locked myself in.

I'm special, you see.

How I did it is really immaterial. But I will tell you that I found myself with my doorknob in my hand, staring incredulously at my locked door, and wondered if I had found myself in a bizarre episode of The Twilight Zone as the minutes ticked by and I became later and later from work. I started calling my super, leaving several messages before paging him at his emergency number. I called lolitasir, praying that she was awake and would be willing to bring her set of keys to my place to free me from this consensual bondage.

Eventually the super was able to send someone to free me. He looked at my predicament with amazement... this lock malfunction simply isn't supposed to happen. They are designed to prevent precisely what had occurred. And still, because it is me, and my life, it had.

I was 40 minutes late for work in a morning where I was originally going to be 15 minutes early. But I'm a free man now, an escapee from the most bizarre bondage I have experienced to date.

So, cat burglar? Nope. Since I can't even break out of an apartment, I probably shouldn't attempt breaking in.