That is... if he would ever even consider touching a lava lamp. (He wouldn't. Not in a million years.)
This is after a week in which when immediately returning from Frolicon I was briefed on what happened at the office during my days off by bending over and getting repeatedly fucked up my ass without any lube whatsoever and then was sent off back into the wild with threats of more painful buggery.
So, to sum up: Last week and this week are/were giant run-on sentences with lots of painful and not pleasurable anal sex.
That is all.