Boymeat (boymeat) wrote,

  • Mood:

Clearing my mind a bit.

As I lie here ready to go to bed, I realized that there are a few topics that are burning in my brain that I needed to type down, if only briefly.

I have a feeling these will be inspiring one or two future posts.

I'm finding more and more that the type of play partner I attract tends to also be attracted to people who are not exactly to my liking. I usually have reasons for my distaste - suspicions about their safety (or lack of), past experiences with them that have left bitter tastes, or knowing other people whom they have mistreated and/or hurt. Other times I simply don't have a reason, just a gut feeling that leads me not to trust them.

When I'm approached for play by these potential partners, I am forced to make a choice. Put aside my feelings for their previous/current other partners and enjoy our time together, or walk away. I don't say anything about their choices - it is not my place, and it is their decision to make. So, it's a tough situation - often I am forced to swallow my misgivings, as I don't want them to get in the way of potential new friendships. Lord knows I have made bad decisions in the past - I shouldn't be judging others due to theirs, even if they don't see it the same way I do.

It's not a omni-present problem, but it's there.

The second thing burning in my mind is much, much tougher. There ARE dangerous players in our midst. I know who they are, I know them, and they know me. I know what they've done, I know who they hurt. And these people are Presenters - nationally recognized and celebrated presenters. They get asked to teach all around the country, either because program coordinators don't know the history of their behavior, or they do and choose to ignore it because they are so popular with attendees.

And these people ARE popular. Immensely so.

Lolita taught me something that I have learned to trust in a long time ago - "Sooner or later, people figure it out."

People aren't figuring it out fast enough when it comes to the people I am thinking about with this post.

So I wonder. Who will step up to the plate? Who will finally have the balls to go public and say "X" is a dangerous player and/or a liability issue, and it's time to put a stop to events endorsing their behavior by inviting them to teach?

Sometimes, I seriously feel like I have the balls to do it. I've come close to it several times before. I'm close to it now.

But the scene today is built on fame. Famous presenters all around us. To be the person who stands and tries to place a black mark on these famous people, you stand the risk of becoming shunned yourself.

I don't have the balls right now. Maybe I will tomorrow.

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