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If you see something, say something.

I feel like I'm rapid cycling through emotions right now. You just read anger. Now you will read remorse.

I apologize for vomiting as I am onto your screens.

The NY subways, ever since 9/11, have been regularly broadcasting messages on the train and on the platforms that seek to charge NY'ers to being a part of our overall safety. Just as in airports, much is made of suspicious packages. Every frequent subway rider has without a doubt heard to the point of memorization that common phrase... "If you see a suspicious package, don't keep it to yourself. Tell a police officer, or a NYC transit worker." On the MTA website, there is an entire page devoted to deputizing us into being safety wardens.

It's a good campaign, and illustrates something that we should take heed of. Danger is all around us, and we can't expect the authorities to know about it all. We do need to tell someone when we see danger, because untold danger simply becomes more dangerous.

The trick though is that in day to day life, there is someone to tell. You tell the authorities, and it is their job to investigate, confirm, and deal with said danger. It is what they are paid to do... what we as tax paying citizens charge them with. There is a structure in which these things are handled.

In the SM scene, we have no such thing. There are no authorities, there are no people in charge. Sure, there are event directors, and they can kick you out of their event if you prove to be a danger. But they have no power to stop you from going somewhere else... another event, another group, another city... to cause danger over there. No one has authority in the scene. In a land defined by the power exchanges we get turned on by, there is no true power structure. We are a band of deviants, doing what we want with very little other than societies law to stop us.

In a land devoid of law, I feel it is even more important for the individual to take responsibility for the safety of others. As fellow decent human beings, it is our job to watch the back of those who watch ours. The historical leather scene is famous for the idea of it being self-policing. We (supposedly) guarded our own, and kept dangerous individuals out.

Looks great on paper. Really hard to do in practice.

3, 4, however many years ago, I was strongly tempted to shout out when the shithead I wrote about earlier returned to NYC. I wanted to warn everyone that he was not to be trusted, that he was unsafe, and that he should be avoided. I didn't though, I could not. Because that would have been slander. That would have been me slinging shit at someone and thus I would have been ostracized.

I've written about this time, and time, and time again.

But what if I did?? What if I DID tell people how many years ago? Would we be going through what is happening now? Would people been hurt by him? Would he even still be around enough to come back again like he's trying to do now?

I did my best, I suppose. I told a few people who's confidence I had. I told a group leader about the snake in their midst. I did my little part. Clearly it wasn't enough.

If you see something, say something.

When the fuck are we going to start saying something?


Feb. 11th, 2012 02:32 pm (UTC)
I hear you.
I couldn't agree with you more. We have this same issue in our own community. I've gone to several Dominants in our community about one particular Dominant who is unsafe, a predator and continues to hold himself out as an expert when he clearly isn't. People have been emotionally and physically harmed and no one wants to run the guy out of town. A few of them have had conversations with him but I think the submissives in our community deserve more than talk. Someone is going to be seriously damaged because no one has the balls to intervene and say, "not in our community".

I've been a victim of this type of Dominant and I felt lucky to get out alive. I stayed silent because I was embarrassed and ashamed and she moved on to another victim. Lucky for the next victim, she had people who did come to her and say that this person was dangerous. And this dangerous Dominant was run out of town because a few Dominants tracked her down and literally ran her out of town.

Many times I feel like people in our community don't take this stuff serious. Everyone just wants to have fun and no one wants to rock the boat. Well, that's all good until someone gets hurt.